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Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrow! ed it. He wants to scare his parents. 

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Interviewer to Milionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a

millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married 

her?"

Millionaire: " Billionaire"

 guys wal es up  

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A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. 

Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?" 

"Wrong number," replied the girl....

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Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. 
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" 
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." 
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." 
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

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One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.

He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?" o 

After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.

a "Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked.

The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."...

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A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke? e 

B: Ok .

A: A white horse fell in the mud. ...

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? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

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